Power Rangers Parody Comics #1, by Matt Harrison 07/07/11

Page 1 (6 panels: 2, 2, 2)

Panel 1. Zordon addresses Alpha in the familiar command center.

ZORDON

Alpha, recruit five teenagers... with attitude!

Panel 2. Five young people, not yet in costume, appear in the room.

SFX

BZZ-ZAP!

Panel 3.

JASON

Huh?

KIM

Eh?

Panel 4.

ZORDON

Alpha, my readings indicate that only three of these teenagers have elevated levels of attitude!

Panel 5.

JASON

Hey, what's going on?

Panel 6.

ZORDON

You're power rangers now. Get over it.

Page 2 (9 panels: 3, 3, 3)

Panel 1. The rangers are teleported to a mountain scene, and now appear in costume.

Panel 2. Trini, as the yellow ranger, is very thin now, and much taller than Billy.

BILLY

We've been teleported to a conspicuously japanese-looking hillside!

TRINI

And our body types are totally different in these costumes!

Panel 3.

Goldar and some putties magically arrive on the scene.

SFX

ZZZ-WHOOSH!

Panel 4. Billy reacts, jumping into a karate pose.

BILLY

Bad guys!

Panel 5. The group begins to defend themselves. Kim performs a side kick.

KIM

Totally!

Panel 6. Zack also goes on the offensive.

ZACK

I fight by dancing!

Panel 7. Billy is knocked back and performs a stylized flip.

BILLY

Ahh!

JASON

Billy!

Panel 8. Billy, lying on the ground, raises his head to address Jason.

BILLY

Don't use my real name when I'm in costume. Use my code name.

Panel 9.

JASON

Oh, sorry. I meant "Blue Ranger."

Page 3 (10 panels: 3, 4, 3)

Panel 1. Rita's wand shoots through the air and stabs into the dirt, where some lightning magic hits it.

TRINI

Where did that wand come from?

Panel 2. Upshot of Goldar, white smoke gushing upward.

BILLY (OP)

It's making him grow!

Panel 3. Jason extends his arm, gesturing toward the sky.

JASON

We need zords, now.

BILLY

No time to explain the origin of the word!

Panels 4-7. Each ranger alone in a small panel, in their classic zord-calling pose within the frame of their belt buckle "morphers," lightning effect in background.

ZACK

Mastodon!

KIM

Pteradactyl!

BILLY

Triceratops!

TRINI

Sabretooth tiger!

Panel 8. Larger panel with Jason in the same shot.

JASON

Tyrannosaurus!

Panel 9. Repeated panel, lightning effects absent. Jason looking slightly confused.

Panel 10. Repeat panel 8, lightning effect has returned.

JASON

...Rex!

Page 4 (7 panels: 2, 3, 2)

Panel 1. Tyrannosaurus zord.

JASON (OP)

Oh my god. My zord rules.

Panel 2. Sabretooth tiger zord.

TRINI (OP)

Wow! Mine, too.

Panel 3. Mastodon zord.

ZACK (OP)

Aw man, look at this elephant's short legs. He can't dance fight!

Panel 4. Triceratops zord.

BILLY (OP)

Mine is rolling on wheels?

! Ripoff.

Panel 5. Pteradactyl zord.

KIM (OP)

Uh, mine is just circling around up there.

Panel 6.

BILLY

Can we go ahead and join these together?

Panel 7.

TRINI & JASON

Aw, man.

Page 5 (9 panels: 3, 3, 3)

Panels 1-9.

One whole page of Megazord forming montage.

Page 6 (8 panels: 2, 3, 3)

Panel 1. Goldar posing, mid-teleport.

GOLDAR

No time for this now. I'll see you losers soon.

Panel 2. Megazord standing in the middle of an open panel, shoulders hunched, looking disappointed.

TRINI (OP)

Are you kidding me?

It took like 45 minutes to get this thing ready.

Panel 3. The gang, back in their civilian clothes, approaches the front door to Ernie's Gym and Juice Bar.

CAPTION

Later...

JASON

Man, what a crazy day. Let's go to the gym for some milkshakes.

KIM

Totally!

Panel 4. Inside, Bulk and Skull, in their full punk rock gear, join the scene from the bathroom door.

BULK

Ahh, I finally got all that milkshake cleaned off my jean jacket.

SKULL

Yeah, Bulk. Heh hee hee.

BULK

Now let's go harass some peers who for some reason find us intimidating.

Panel 5. Bulk approaches the girls, shoving Billy aside with tons of bravado.

BULK

Outta the way, butthead.

SKULL

Yeah. Heh hee hee. "Butthead..

BULK

Hey girls, go on a double date with us.

Panel 6. Close up on Billy's face, making an aside to Kim.

BILLY (whispering)

I will if you will.

Panel 7. Kim looking cartoonishly revolted.

KIM

Like, no way, Bulk. Total barf city!

Panel 8. Closeup on Bulk, turning his shoulder on the group.

BULK (whimpering to himself)

I'll never find true love.

Page 7 (7 panels: 3, 3, 1)

Panel 1. Zack accidentally knocks over a tray of milkshakes while spontaneously breakdancing.

ZACK

Oops.

Panel 2. The milkshakes spill all over Bulk.

Panel 3. Closeup on an enraged Bulk, covered in milkshake goop.

BULK

Milkshakes!

Panel 4. Goldar comes through the door of the gym, chatting casually with a putty.

GOLDAR

I've heard this gym serves the best milkshakes... What?

Power Rangers!

Panel 5.

BUL.

Monster!

Panel 6.

SKULL

Yeah, Bulk... "Monster!" Heh hee hee.

Panel 7. Bulk and Skull are instantly killed by Goldar.

Page 8 (7 panels: 2, 3, 2)

Panel 1.

GOLDAR

Where's that growing wand?

Panel 2. Cut back to Zordon's homebase.

ZORDON

Alpha, replay the footage from page five!

Panel 3. Megazord battles giant Goldar across a landscape of cardboard buildings.

CAPTION

Soon...

Panel 4.

Megazord is knocked back, ripping the top off of a cardboard building with clearly no interior details.

Panel 5.

Goldar strikes the Megazord with his sword, triggering an explosion of puffy white smoke.

Panel 6. Inside the Megazord cockpit, showing all five rangers side by side.

JASON

It's no use.

Panel 7. Closeup on the blue ranger inside the cockpit.

BILLY

His pyrotechnics are superior!

Page 9 (6 panels: 2, 3, 1)

Panel 1. Zack's chair slides in reverse within the Megazord cockpit.

ZACK

Hang tight, guys. I have a plan.

Panel 2.

TRINI

You can't leave. Your zord is the arms!

Panel 3. The Mastodon zord withdraws from the Megazord, mid-morph.

Panel 4. Megazord stands alone in an otherwise empty panel, armless, looking helpless and a bit concerned.

Panel 5. Goldar savagely pounds on a defenseless Megazord.

Panel 6. As Goldar continues to battle Megazord, Zack leaps from the Mastodon zord, now fully upright, onto Goldar's soldier.

Page 10 (9 panels: 3, 3, 3)

Panel 1. A tiny Zack whispers into Goldar's giant ear.

ZACK

Pss psss ps pss...

Panel 2. Goldar stops in his tracks, dropping his sword.

GOLDAR

Why do I suddenly feel the need to start a hip hop groove?

Panel 3. Megazord looks on as Goldar begins to pop and lock.

Panel 4.

TRINI

Zack did it! Goldar's been neutralized!

Panel 5.

KIM

Totally!

Panel 6.

JASON

God. Shut up, Kim.

Panel 7.

Zack is really getting into Goldar's dance.

ZACK

Yeah, you got got it, dawg. Now try a nice shoulder pop.

Panel 8. Wide shot, Zack standing on Goldar's shoulder.

ZACK

Oh, wait...

Panel 9. Repeated shot. Goldar's shoulder has shot upward, and Zack is plummeting to the ground.

Page 11 (8 panels: 3, 3, 2)

Panel 1.

TRINI

Zack!

Panel 2.

JASON

At least he died doing what he loved.

Panel 3.

BILLY

He's dance fighting with the angels now.

Panel 4.

JASON

OK guys, let's finish him off! It's time for the power sword!

Panel 5.

BILLY

Wait, how will we catch...

Panel 6. Falling from the sky, the power sword impales Megazord through the chest.

Panel 7.

TRINI

Oh my god, it killed Jason!

Panel 8. Wide shot of cockpit interior. The blue ranger cradles the red ranger's severed upper body in his lap.

BILLY

Jason, no! I've always loved you!

Page 12 (8 panels: 3, 2, 3)

Panel 1.

TRINI

OK, I'm leader now.

Panel 2.

TRINI

Billy, use the left leg to mAuto our weight. I'm gonna rear back and wait for the perfect moment.

Panel 3.

KIM

What should I do?

Panel 4.

TRINI

...

Panel 5.

TRINI

Don't touch anything.

Panel 6.

Goldar swings through a whirlwind move, his body low to the ground.

GOLDAR

This is exhilarating! I've finally found my true passion!

Panel 7. Megazord's right foot stomps on Goldar's head, crushing it, and killing him instantly.

TRINI

Now!

Panel 8. A motionless Megazord ponders the giant corpse of Goldar at it's feet.

Page 13 (5 panels: 3, 1, 1)

Panel 1. The remaining rangers gather once again at the gym, back in their civilian clothes now.

CAPTION

That night...

BILLY

Well, I guess that about wraps up the case of the golden giant.

Panel 2.

KIM

Do you guys wanna go to a party tonight?

Panel 3.

TRINI

I can't. I need to go shopping for some new outfits. For all the funerals.

Panel 4. Billy raises his milkshake, offering a toast.

BILLY

To absent friends...

Panel 5. The three friends clink their plastic cups together somberly.

TRINI & KIM

To absent friends.

Page 14 (5 panels: 2, 2, 1)

Panel 1.

A moment later, Billy clumsily fumbles his milkshake.

BILLY

Whoops!

Panel 2. Below, the milkshake once again lands on Bulk and Skull, the thick goop coating their dead faces, bodies still sprawled across the floor of the gym.

Panel 3.

BILLY

Sorry, guys.

Panel 4.

BILLY, TRINI & KIM

Ha ha ha!

Panel 5. Still laughing, the group forms a classic, Saved by the Bell-style scene of togetherness.

CAPTION

Freeze frame!

-END-

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